What The Doggs Have Been Up To This Summer! (1998)

by Ted S.
YDR.v1.i1

This is the place to find out what your fellow Doggs are doing, where they are at (so we don't have any strays) and who they are giving the red rocket, if you know what I mean. Hopefully, one (or a number of Doggs) can keep this newsletter running so at least four issues are released in a one year time period. Also, rumors have escalated that the newsletter may even be converted to a web page on the Internet (damn that Bill Gates!).

Anyway, lets cut through the shit and get to what everybody is up to this summer. Da Coat is working at that computer place and he says it is extremely boring. "The only thing I do all day is smack my crank," Coat said in an interview last Thursday. Another project Fred is working on this summer is a hotel service open Wednesday nights. So far his only customers he has received have been C. and Elvis who need a place to stay after another "wild" night at Bobby Dale's.

Speaking of which, C. has no job yet and just sleeps in (of course), plays video games during the day and goes out at night to suck blood while our friend Elvis still works at Shop & Save and spends a majority of his free time with the infamous "Monkey" swinging through the jungle as young lovers should. That's right Doggs, from what an inside source says, Elvis and the Monkey are officially a couple.

E. has finally got that damn cast off of his leg and he is running around like a crazed snorp! He says that he is getting some job at a tube factory making tubes or putting them together or something crazy like that. His misadventures with Fink have already begun and they're not even living together yet. Fink is being your typical Fink. "He doesn't even want to get cable" Englewood stated furiously with flaming nostrils. As the misadventures of Fink and his sidekick Englewood ("Whatever") continue, we will keep you posted.

K.is working for American Eagle with a bunch of crazy people. "I don't know if I can take much more of this Dogg." Brian said about the experience. He also informed the YDR about his trip to Calif. to see his cousin (for more info on this see the "Congratulations" article). K. said everything was "weird" out there. He explained how in Hollywood, doors are a few inches smaller than normal to make actors look taller and some items are smaller or bigger than normal. For example, in Twins with DeVito and Schwarzenegger, a can of Pepsi would be made 2 sizes larger to show just how small DeVito is "supposed" to be in the film. Weird. Also, Brian has found an apartment for dental school this coming August at Pitt. He is currently looking for items and is "saving my money to buy a toaster oven."

Captain Ron started working for a bank on May 13th. The day I spoke with him on the phone was the first time he received a paycheck. That was June 14th. He didn't get paid for a whole month! Must have been rough. Ron hasn't found a place yet in Indiana for grad school but he's planning a trip in the coming weeks to do so. Missy is working at Eat n' Park all the time and has little time for anything else. "It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't make me wear a G-string and a skin tight, wet T-shirt cut off at the waist so my navel shows. Also, I often wonder why they keep it so cold in there." Missy said on a message she left on my voice mail.

As for myself, the construction job didn't work out so I had to find some other job. So I applied and applied and applied and finally on June 17th I got a job working for a tree company. Woo Hoo! I was getting so bored of sleeping in and playing video games on my brother's computer all day (seriously). The Maverick is doing fine and can't wait to go on out annual fishing trip to Canada at the end of June eh?

As for the rest of the Doggs they were unavailable for comment at press time, i.e. I didn't call them (sorry Doggs) Actually I was saving them for next issue when we will have all the greats like Doozin, The Tool, the always infamous, always capernoided duo of S. and Jimmy, Shawny Mac and, of course, everyone's favorite . . . J.!